Monday, July 17, 2017

My First Toastmaster's Speech

To become a toastmaster, you have to complete a series of assignment before you can earn the title.
As a new toastmaster, I'm doing the Competent Communicator manual, there are 10 speeches/assignments. My first assignment is called The Ice Breaker which is to introduce myself, as simple as that. Nevertheless, as simple as it may sound, it was not easy for me. I had panic attack before going to the meeting. Thank God I managed to finish the whole thing after a whole afternoon of practise.  So here it is. 

Competent Communicator 1 (CC1) The Ice Breaker : Me and Myself  

Good evening fellow toastmasters, hi my name is Winnee Raplin. I am a sino kadazan, I speak mandarin but not kadazan. (Audience laughed) I am 23 years old.

I am a little home baker who just started to venture into the world of business making this year. I love baking, baking makes me feel at ease plus my whole kitchen would smell like butter. (Audience laughed) For me, butter is the most fragrant smell in the entire world. I bake cheese tarts, savoury puffs and pies and cakes.

Baking is science, except that it is better, because you’ll get to eat the results! Without the right measurements and temperature, your baked goods won’t turn out the way it should be. Hence, baking is all about experimenting until you get the right taste and texture.

During my leisure time, I enjoy ballroom dancing. I started taking ballroom dancing lesson last year and I cherish every moment of it. Prancing around the dance floor with the flow of the Latino music makes me feel energized instantly.

Apart from baking, I would like to become a motivational speaker one day. To be frank, I am struggling with depression and anxiety. For the past 6 years, I’ve been living in the shadows of fear and worry. I was leading a furtive(word of the evening, everyone knocks the table) life. However, this year, I told myself I need a breakthrough. I need to step out of my comfort zone and do things which terrified me, which is attending social events like this. Since I had my illness, I was afraid to talk to strangers, I find it gruesome when I’m around with unfamiliar faces.

Therefore, joining SWEPA and SWEPA toastmaster would be the perfect platform for me to build up my confidence and self-esteem apart from meeting all the amazing women and men (audience laughed). These people had inspired me to become stronger and improve myself in various aspects.

My source of inspiration comes from Nick Vuhicic, an Australian motivational speaker born without arms and legs. Despite not having any limbs, Nick has found tremendous success by touching millions of lives with his incredible life journey. Hence, I wanted to emulate him and use my own story to inspire others as well as creating awareness about mental health issues.

Some of you might not be aware of this, according to the statistics of Malaysian Health Ministry, 1 in every 3 Malaysians is suffering from mental illness at some point of their lives and this number is increasing at an alarming state. So, I urge all of you to care more for each other and shower people around you with your love and blessings. A simple how are you or how is your day might change someone’s life. Aspire to inspire, that is one of my mission.

There is one crucial lesson that I have learnt from my sickness. “If you’re depressed, you are living in the past. If you’re anxious, you’re living in the future. If you’re at peace, you are living in the present.” I was always devastated because I dwell too much on my painful past experiences. At the same time, my excessive worrying made me stuck at the same situation over and over again, it was a never-ending exhausting cycle.

It was until I met my psychologist, then I learnt how to live in the present. She taught me about mindfulness and to accept things the way they are. Let’s keep this invaluable quote deeply ingrained in our hearts, “Yesterday is a history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, that’s why it’s called present.”

Dear toastmasters and guest, 

Let’s appreciate what we have right now and let bygones be bygones. It is still never too late to start a new day with fresh hopes and dreams. Let’s remind ourselves that tomorrow is going to be just fine. 

Thank you.

Although I've memorized y speech so well, my nervousness caused me to forget some parts and I had to refer back my notes.

The theme is Go Green, hence the Pandan leaves. 
Thank God there was only about 20 people on that night, sometimes it can go up to 50 people on special occasion like the last meeting of the term.

Me receiving my first badge from Immediate Past President (IPP) Dora Voon, standing beside her is Vice President of Education (VPE) Dr. Amelia, who is a speech specialist.

My Evaluator was Tiffany, a guest from China's toastmaster's club. Sometimes we have guest around.
She said that I'm very brave for sharing my experience. VPE Amelia commented that my speech needed to be more organized which I had done so in my second speech. IPP Dora said I have good command in English. Since I'm a first timer, so they gave mostly good feedbacks. 
Anyhow there's a lot more improvement can be made. Thanks for all the wonderful feedback.

So yeah, all in all it was a good first speech experience. 
 Stay tuned for my second speech. 

If you wanna know more about toastmaster, click HERE to read it on my second blog.

Friday, June 30, 2017

I'm Officially a Driver! Part 2

Let's continue with my journey to get my driving license.

If you haven't read Part 1, you may click HERE.

The remaining driving lessons went out well, I'll just jump straight ahead to the driving final exam aka JPJ test in Malaysia.

Prior to the exam, I've been practicing using my mum's proton for a few weeks. I also practiced hard on the RPK and RSM. RPK is Rutin Pemeriksaan Kereta whereas RSM is Rutin Sebelum Memandu. I even went to the extent of recording my tutor when he's showing me the procedure of RPK, then I also searched online about the procedures and wrote out everything on paper. I practiced it with my mum in a remote area where no one sees us. You see how much effort I've put in? I never joke about exams, I take them seriously, like really serious, cause I don't wanna redo the whole thing over again, plus wasting money and time.

Taking a driving license was way different than back then. Back in 2011 when I first took my driving lessons, (yes, this was my second attempt) there's no such thing as RPK I mean there was, but we didn't have to memorize and show it to the JPJ examiner. We only had a short few hours workshop (bengkel) which the tutor demonstrate it to us and that's it. 

Ok, with full confidence on the RPK and RSM thing but not the driving part, cause I was still shaky when it comes to changing lane and going into roundabouts, I arrived at the driving institute very early.

The place was already thronged with drivers wannabe. I sat beside a lady. She broke the ice by asking me if this was my first time. I said yes. She replied this was her second try. According to her first experience, there were 40 plus students who failed in their first attempt. I was immediately taken aback. Man, this is tough! About 9 am, the JPJ examiners arrived, all looking pretty smart with their navy blue uniform. Most of them were wearing dark reflective glasses. It was totally Man In Black mode. 

The lady revealed to me that, some of them are lenient, some of them are strict, especially the lady officer. There was only one lady officer at sight. With my fingers crossed, I pleaded God not to give me the lady officer. 

The head JPJ officer started to assign students with the JPJ examiners. 
And guess what, I was assigned to that one and only lady Officer.
Thanks a lot, God.

With my heart pumpin' like a racing horse, I walked slowly towards my automatic Axia. 
The lady officer was quite big and tall, with a ponytail tied up nicely behind, her eyes were hidden behind those black glasses, I was intimidated by her whole look. After checking my details, with a stern voice, she told me to start. 

I put my handbag on top of the dusty car and started my well-memorized Rutin Pemeriksaan Kereta. I was so nervous that I dropped my handbag halfway during the routine. After I've done everything I could remember, then I told her I've finished. 

Her: Sudah check semua?
Me: Yea.

She wrote something on the paper. 

Her: Saya tolak 5 markah.  

Wait WHAT?! I looked at her astonishingly. What did I miss?

Her: Kamu lupa check ni hos air dan cara kamu check bateri salah, siapa suruh kamu buka tu bateri?
I was already getting tensed up.

Her: Ni, wiper....apa maksud ok?
Me : Dalam keadaan baik.
Her : Apa dalam  keadaan baik?
Me: Getah dia?
Her: Apa tu getah dia? Macam mana tau getah dia keadaan baik?
Me: Tidak tau......(tears started falling like water fall)
Her: Kenapa tidak tau?
Me: Tidak kena ajar. (sobbing like a baby)
Her: Kenapa kau nangis?
Me: Sebab kau garang.
Her: Ish, malas saya mau layan budak budak kecil macam kau.

Her non-stop questioning pushed me to my limits. I broke down instantly in front of everyone.
Can you imagine, every pair of eyes was set on you? I took my handbag and rushed towards the toilets in an instant.

I really didn't know how to answer her questions, I did everything as I was taught. Apparently what was taught by my tutor was different than she expected. I touch the rubber of the wiper, I said it was fine. I didn't expect more than that. That's why I cried.

My mood was totally ruined. I was trying really hard to calm myself down for the next test, the ramp. I sat there sullenly at the pondok while watching other students started their bukit test, tears won't stop dropping. I really wanna call my mother and go home at that moment. This was just too much for me. People with anxiety should have a specialyl assigned officer or something.

About half an hour later, my tear ducts had finally dry itself up and my name was called for the first test. For your information, manual car students don't have to do the ramp. Thank God I was given enough time to regain my composure. I took a deep breath and walked anxiously towards the ramp. Before we start our test, we need to do RSM, Rutin Sebelum Memandu, where you have to make sure everything is well adjusted and working including the seats, mirror, and lights. The lady officer was there too, I was still prayin' hard to God not to assign me to this fierce lady.

Thank God, I was assigned to a guy examiner. I did my RSM, then off I went with my first test in the circuit (litar). This guy officer was so much friendlier. Now, why can't that lady be more like him?

My ramp was fine, then followed by going up the hill (bukit). My front tyres were stopped directly on the yellow line. The third test was the side parking which was also perfectly done. The fourth one was "Z", continued by "tiga penjuru", and lastly "S". I passed every test smoothly with flying colours.

By the way, the "Z" and "S" didn't exist the last time I learned.

My mood turned so much better after knowing that I passed all the circuit test.

After that, it was the test on the route, real roads with real cars and real ass hole drivers! I got another guy examiner, Thank God he picked the easier route for me, Putatan route, where I didn't have to change on busy lanes and big busy roundabout like the one in Donggongon route.

I did my RSM, then started my journey with fingers crossed. Along the way, I drove at only 40km/h. Slow and steady like a turtle was my game. In this route, there was only 1 challenging part, the one at Putatan Matahari junction where I have to change lane to the main busy road. I did it pretty well.

The next thing I know, I was back at the driving institute, safe and sound. The guy examiner wrote something on the paper and passed it to me without saying much. With only one crucial question in my head, I passed the paper to the admin of the driving institute. The guy checked and calculate everything.

Me: Pass kah?
Him: Pass bah.
Me: YAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I was jumpin and prancin like I just won the 4D grand prize.)
Me: Saya ingat saya fail sudah tu masa RPK tadi sebab kena tolak banyak markah, turus saya nangis.
Another guy: Oh kau kah tu yang nangis, kau pigi tandas kan tadi.
Me: Yea.
Him: Kenapa kau nangis?
Me: Sebab saya tidak pandai jawab.
Him: Siapa tutor kau?
Me: Si XX. Tidak kena ajar yang ni dan tu.
Him: Oh bah, nanti kau tumbuk dia. (All of us giggles)

Nonetheless, the huge boulder on my shoulder was finally let go. It was a huge relieve, 15.5 hours plus additional at home practice definitely paid off.

I took my papers, went to the office and settled everything.
Little did I know that my mum was there all the time to watch me!
She even followed me secretly on the route. How cunning and lovely!

She told me that I was so much better than many other students, even the boys!
Hey, I'm better in driving than the boys?! That sounded unbelievable!
Now looking back, I was so proud of myself, I didn't quit, I didn't call my mama, I braved myself towards all the bumps both literally and figuratively that I've met along the journey to getting my driving license.

I know these might sound childish, immature, or just plain stupid to you, but for a person with depression and anxiety like me, overcoming these obstacles is a huge step for me. To you it might be just a small bump, but to me, it's Mount Kinabalu. I've always wanted to finish this task, 6 years ago I gave up because of my fear and I still regret it till now, I didn't go to the final JPJ test last time, I could have done it, but I was too afraid. RM666 and all those time and efforts were a pure waste.

Dear drivers wannabe out there, here's a tip, if you're not planning to drive a manual in the future, please consider signing up the automatic D, it may cost you about RM300 more, but it will definitely save you a lot of time, energy and money. I saw many students failed at bukit just because they can't balance their clutch and oil. They were given 3 attempts and still failed. Now they have to retake, pay more money and spend another excruciating day waiting. I'm so glad I took automatic cause I didn't have to wait that long for my turn, I heard some of the students wait until 4 pm till their turns. It was a long tiring wait, especially if you're doing it during bulan puasa. Imagine if it's a Friday, you'll have to wait for the Muslims to finish their prayer before they can continue their exam sessions.

Another tip, if possible, ask your tutor to arrange your JPJ test on a school holiday. Less car.
Thank God mine was on a school holiday.

Now that I'm an official driver, I can say hi to new found mobility and constant nagging in the car!

Also, give a pat to yourself for finishing this long post.
I just had to spit out everything =)

Thursday, June 29, 2017

I'm officially a driver! Part 1

After 15.5 hours of practice, few times of panic attacks, and a bucket of tears, finally I passed my driving test!

Driving was never my thing, I can cook, I can write, I can sing, but not handling heavy machinery. Oh and also numbers related tasks like maths and accounts, they are equally a pain in the ass.

Only my mother and God knew how much trouble I went through before the final test.
Every time before I went to the driving institute, I'll have panic attacks. The thought of having to drive a huge machine on dangerous roads scared the shit out of me, plus I'll have a total stranger sitting beside me in an enclosed space. The first and second time turned out not that bad because the tutor was quite friendly, let's call him tutor A. However, there's something not good about him too, will tell you more about that later.

It was until my third class, the manager of the institute decided to change my tutor. Let's name him tutor B. Tutor B was a short man, always looking smart wearing long sleeves button shirt even though he had to work under the hot sun. His signature was his red Boonie hat, you could easily spot him from far by just looking at that particular hat. 

Having to go through the entire "Oh-no-a-new-fierce-looking-stranger-in-my-car" thing again was not cool. Tutor B was not the friendly type, in the car, he was very quiet, also most likely assuming I knew everything. 

This is where my first tutor, tutor A's story came in.

Turned out, tutor A didn't teach me a lot of stuff! In fact, things that he taught me were all wrong and inadequate! He didn't make sure that I need to pull handbrake at certain places, he didn't remind me I need to use signals, even in the circuit(litar), he didn't tell me I need to horn every time I start and finish a task. He didn't teach me about the ramp, oh forgot to tell ya, if you learn automatic, you'll have an extra thing you need to do called the ramp. The whole point of the ramp is not to hit the pole while you go up and reverse from the front. That's it.

This website provides detailed explanation on driving lessons.

Tutor A was a really lousy tutor, I could have failed if I continue my remaining lessons with him, but thank God I didn't.

Back to tutor B, I didn't like him the moment he sat in my Axia. While I was doing my ramp, he assumed that I knew the procedure, which I didn't, he sounded kind of pissed. I got so tensed up, pressured and panicked that I mixed up the brake and oil, instead of the brake, I stepped on the accelerator. So guess what, I ran over the pole, right through it, it ended up right under the poor Axia. A loud "bang" was heard, I quickly became the center of attention in the circuit, many eyes were staring at me.

I got out of the car, completely dumbfounded, and broke down instantly.

At that particular juncture, all I wanna do was to leave, go home and never have to face him or the humiliation again.

Tutor B, who probably got shocked by the loud bang and my tears told me to cool down.
About 5 minutes later, after seeing me gaining my composure, he taught me the whole procedure of the ramp again, except that this time, with a slower and softer voice.  

I got back in the car, still sobbing and startled by the incident earlier, braved my second attempt on the ramp. This time I did it wonderfully.

And that's the story of how Winnee didn't quit for the first time. 

I gotta say, I'm so proud of myself that this time I didn't give up easily.
One of the reason was that I knew that if I quit again, I'll regret it for the rest of my life, plus RM1300 would be gone.

Stay tuned for Part 2, spoiler alert, it involved tears as well =)

Monday, June 12, 2017

A very late Mother's day Post.

I know it's June now, however, it's still not too late to dedicate a post to my own mother right?

We had our Mother's day dinner at Gaya Street Tian Tian Fan Dian Restaurant.
The food was not bad, but the service was a bit slow.

Sesame Chicken

Seafood Toufu

Deep Fried Prawns

Fish with garlic and spring onions

Yam Ring

Sea cucumber soup

Enough with the food pictures. Let's get straight to the dedication part.

All I can say about my mother is 2 words: Wonder Woman.
In chinese we have a saying, 白手起家 which meant that a person builds something out of nothing.

My mother did everything by herself ever since she finished form 5.
Found a decent job, helped with her family back then when she is still single, among her 5 siblings, I can say that she's the most capable one. In popo's house, all the furniture, tv, refrigerator, household product. Yes, she bought all of it with her own hard earn menial salary at that time. She even helped my gong gong and popo to jaga gerai at the pasar. My mother is a very independent woman.

Then she met my dad, got married, bought a car, bought a house, then bought another car.
She did all these by herself. She's the decision maker of the house. She's the only one among her 5 siblings who can afford to 摆酒 in a fancy restaurant during her wedding.

She's been through a lot, only us and God know.
She was sick a few years ago, then popo got sick and passed away, at the same time also taking care of me. It was a roller coaster.

She may complaints every now and then, but she chooses not to dwell in life's bitterness and moved on. If there's one thing I could learn from her is her resilience towards life.

She might not be highly educated, her English may not be as good as mine, but she's a very brilliant woman. She manages everything, pays the bills, buys groceries, cooks every meal, sends us to schools. She did all by herself as if she's a single mother.

She's a driver/chef/butler/teacher/house-maid/care-taker/breadwinner/provider.

She's a woman of steel.

Dealing with my sickness is another whole new challenging chapter for her. My unstable emotions have caused much trouble. But that didn't make her give up on me even when I wanted to give up on myself. It wasn't easy for both of us. We have come a long way to this day. She has seen how much I've improved since 6 years ago.

All I wanted to say to her is Thank you mum for always supporting me no matter what decision I have made, whether it's right or wrong. Sometimes the wrong ones taught me a lesson like never ever trust those scammers who hide behind the name of so-called coaches. Once they accepted the money, they won't even bother to answer your questions. Because you have to pay extra bucks for it.

Thank you mum for always putting up with me, there are things I still haven't learned to fully control like my emotions. I pray that God will bless you with healthy body and mind, peace, joy and wisdom to continue to take care of this family.

Did I mention she's a left-hander? 

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

The 3 Unwritten Rules to Singing Karaoke With Your Friends.

In my previous post, I mentioned that I had a terrible karaoke experience.
Hence, I came up with some basic common rules to follow when singing karaoke with friends.

The 3 Unwritten Rules to Singing Karaoke With Your Friends.

1. Never EVER, and I repeat EVER skip or stop your friend's favorite jam

Just don't, especially when they are in the middle of the song. It's rude, it's unethical, it's the most basic courtesy. You got your jam, they got theirs too. They let you finish yours, you let them finish theirs. Simple as that, it is also known as mutual respect.

2. Be considerate and picked songs which everyone can sing and enjoy.

I know some of you love foreign language song, especially with the recent Kpop craze. But please, 1 or 2 is enough. Other people don't necessarily know the song, even if they do, they couldn't read the lyrics. So please be a kind lamb, choose something everyone understands. If you really want to sing Kpop song so much, next time, go with  Kpop lovers only.

3. Please don't let group karaoke turned into your solo performance.

I know that particular song may have a very deep sentimental impact on you, but at least pick something famous and people familiar with. When everyone says they do not know the song, please have the courtesy to skip it. Or else it will become your solo session. You're not the only who paid for the songs. This is a shared room with only two microphones and limited time. Your consideration towards others' feelings is very much appreciated.

All these rules are very subtle and we don't spell out loud. So if you're a karaoke frequent and reading this, I hope you understands the circumstances and apply it in your next karaoke session.

Bitter karaoke

I've had so many karaoke sessions with my friends, never have I ever gone through any unpleasant experience until today. It was one of the worst encounters of my life.

So here's my story.
I was having a karaoke session with 2 friends. At first, it was lovely and exciting. Then it slowly turned into a boring solo session and song skipping frenzy. There's this friend, let's call her A. Apparently A is a huge karaoke enthusiast. She first sat down at the computer screen and picked her songs. Then we started singing.

Then her jam came. Her favorite Korean songs. Another friend and I couldn't understand a single Korean word. So we just sat there quietly and listened, enjoying the Korean vibe.
She finished her jam one after another. Full song. I was starting to get annoyed. I mean, there are 2 microphones, but only one can sing. It's kind of a waste given that we have a time limit.

Because of the time constraint, they started skipping songs. Most of it were sang halfway.
My picked songs were very far behind. I was waiting patiently for my songs to come.

And then when my favorite jam came, I quickly grab the mike and sang with all my soul out, hey, I haven't been to a karaoke since last year August. So I got really exhilarated.
Just when the mood was just building up, guess what just happened?
A just freaking skipped my favorite song without asking my permission.
Yes, you heard me, she skipped my freaking favorite jam.
I was like WTH?!

That's my song! I picked that song, I'm the one who gets to say when to skip.
I didn't skip your Korean song? So you're the boss now? You control everything?!
Hey, I paid RM32 for my favorite jam too.
You just crossed the line.

And there goes, every song was done halfway. Where's the fun of that?
It's like listening to a sentence halfway. You can't imagine how pissed I am that time.
No one knows I was boiling inside.

Here are a few useful tips when you decide to go karaoke.

1. Choose the right singing buddies.
Another friend, let's call her B. We were both singing a song, I sang the original key and she sang in a whole different key, the entire song! Unaffected by my voice! On the contrary, I was affected by her! And even more amazing, she was completely unaware of it!  I don't know if I should be amazed at B. While B was singing out of tune and tempo, I have A singing like a mating goat beside me. I couldn't enjoy one single moment of any of the song. It was pure 3-hour torture.

2. Choose a package with no time limit.
This is a very self-explanatory. Less time, less song, less chance to sing. That's it. And you might get skipped too. Even if there's time limit, choose at least 5 hours, and with more people, add more hours.

3. Be quick!
This is a bit on the selfish side. As soon as you enter the karaoke door, go straight to the song selection computer and start picking your favorite jams just like A did. Don't get too excited to sing first! Or else you'll end up like me, most of my songs were at the very back of the pages and I didn't get to sing it. It was such a shame.

I think that's all. Oh and here's an extra bonus tip.
Apart from not up to date song list, the song selection screen lags and hangs too.

So, yeah, this will be my first and last time to Imago Karaoke.
Also a note to self, never sing with A and B anymore.
RM32 for 3 hours is definitely way expensive and not worth it.

Monday, May 29, 2017

Follow me

Dear faithful reader, no matter how many that is, I have great news for you, I have decided to start a new blog.

This blog is going to be more on events of my life. So you are certainly most welcomed to read my wonderful journey.

Come, follow my footsteps......

Hope you like it =)

Sunday, May 28, 2017











1950年代,日本入侵我国,婆婆说,那些日本军把辛苦种来的稻谷通通都抢走。幸好,婆婆和公公有把一些藏起来。 日本占领时期人民都过的好苦啊!




Friday, April 28, 2017

Dim Sum hot deal!

KK peeps, if you enjoy dim sum as much as I do, then pay full attention.

Famous local dim sum restaurant - Foo Ping Dim Sum is celebrating their 25th anniversary this year and guess what, we can get the 
first 5 shao mais for RM2.50! 

Ya hear that people???!!!

So what are you waiting for?
Grab this golden opportunity and indulge yourself in this Hong Kong originated deliciousness on this coming Saturday and Sunday from 7am-2pm.
Image may contain: food and text
I can't believe my all-time favorite dim sum parlor has been operating for a 1/4 century!
My mother and I would visit this restaurant every time before we headed to the weekend market. 
Sometimes we also love to tapao and eat it with our favorite beef noodle situated next door. 

This is their address.
Block A, Lot 6 & 7, Ground Floor, Kolam Centre Phase 2, Jalan Lintas
88300 Kota Kinabalu
They are closed on the 2nd and 4th Monday of every month.

Have a wonderful scrumptious weekend!

Wednesday, April 26, 2017


Great news for all Malaysian shoppers, especially East Malaysians, Lazada is having a huge sale right now! 


East Malaysians shoppers, did ya hear that???!!! 
No extra charges on your favorite item!
And you can earn 2X AirAsia Bigpoints!

Click HERE to start shopping!
The sale starts on 25th to 27th April.
Don't miss it!

Monday, April 17, 2017

The Element

In my previous post, I've mentioned what is it to be in your Element. Of late, I just discovered ballroom dancing is my element. 

So here's another great read I wanna introduce to you guys: 
The Element 
How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything
By Ken Robinson

So what is this Element?
Let's take a look at this equation I made from the points I'd learnt from the book.

In order to be in your element, first of all you need to have the Feature, which is Aptitude and Passion.

Aptitude means the natural ability to do something (天分). I just gotta mention this one couple in my dancing school and I think they are the perfect example. In my opinion, they just don't have the talent to dance. They couldn't understand the rhythm, they couldn't coordinate their limbs, they just COULD NOT FREAKING dance!

Passion means a strong feeling of enthusiasm or excitement for something. I immediately knew that I have passion for dancing once I entered the studio. My eyes brim with glimmering stares at the professional teacher dancing swiftly across the dance floor. And I can't wait to go back dancing as soon as I got home. That's how you know if you have passion for something. 

Now that you have identified your aptitude and passion, next, you have to be in the Condition which consists of Attitude and Opportunity.

Attitude, I think the word is quite self-explanatory. If you are really into this thing you love, your attitude will be different and that includes strong discipline. So this couple I was talking about, the husband is a very busy man, hence he missed a lot of lessons. So when he shows up, the whole group had to wait for him. If you knew that you can't make it, why not practice it at home? His attitude towards this whole dancing thing obviously shows that he has no passion for dancing at all. 
If I were him, I would practice till I get it or else I would feel so embarrassed and bad for being the black sheep who kept the rest of the group from moving on.

Opportunity is the chance you have to be in something you are enthuse about, in my case, the dance lessons. I cherish every opportunity to be in the studio. Every minute is so precious to me and again, thanks to the couple, my time was wasted on them. Every week our dance teacher had to teach them from the beginning, everything, all over again. This has been going on for a few weeks and I'm getting really frustrated. This couple really brought me down. 

And that's how you know you are in your Element.

Of course, there are so much more insightful knowledge in that invaluable book which I can't cover in one blog post. So grab yourself a copy and discover what the author had in store for you.

Here's a quote from the book which I found the most appealing to me.

"Activities we love fill us with energy even when we are physically exhausted. Activities we don't like can drain us in minutes." 

Hey, I just realized that writing is also one of my element.

Have you found yours?

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Beauty and the Beast 2017

After waiting for 1 whole year, finally, I'm able to be their guest.
Readers, I bring to you: Beauty and the Beast 2017.

Followed by Cinderella's live action movie in 2015, Disney is rewarding their fans with another legendary classic. And again, this was an amazing sight to behold!

Pretty, brilliant, a well known philanthropist who stands for many good causes including feminism, Emma Watson is the perfect cast for Belle and I have love her since Harry Potter series. And I was surprised that she could sing so well. Add another 100 points to Gryffindor! By the way, I think there was a Harry potter reference in the movie. There was a character who says that he couldn't remember what he had forgotten, just like Neville and his remembrall!

I'm having a huge girl crush moment right now. 
Now this is what I call a perfect goddess with beauty and brain! 
Please Emma, don't accept nude or half nude photography from these low standard magazines. 
You earned my respect because you're not like the other celebrities, who are just bimbos with slutty outfits. 

Okay, this is Lefou, the controversial character which almost made Malaysians unable to watch the movie. Apparently, our feeble-minded ministers thought that we would become gay after watching it. So after I watched it, I was like "Seriously? How on earth this could make us go gay? It was just a sissy guy singing." Man, our country is just full of retards.

Aren't these ornaments just adorable? 
Mrs. Pott is Emma Thomson who also starred alongside Emma Watson in Harry Potter. 

Any idea of who is this hottie? He's Dan Stevens, the Beast of course! Behind that furry creature, lies this stunning handsome gorgeous marvelous prince. Shocked eh? I think that he should be given more screen time, even Gaston the villain had more scenes than him, not fair!  His first movie I saw was The Guest, an American action horror thriller. I think I had a little crush on him. Unfortunately he was the antagonist in that movie. Ok that's it, I'm not gonna spoil anymore beans. You can watch it for yourself. In a buzzfeed video he says that he likes red head, unfortunately he is happily married with 3 adorable children, so back off ladies.

My favorite scene. In fact ballroom dancing scene had been and will forever be my favorite scene.
The huge chandelier, the exquisite background, the smooth dance floor, and of course the two main characters swirl across the hall gracefully, it is the most romantic moment of all. 
Nothing can beat that. Period.
This is why I love Disney, they make everything so magical and I'm so glad they did a slight improvement on Belle's dress. It was just perfect. 

The next live action movie will be Mulan and it was scheduled to released in 2018. 
Tang Wei will be the lead actress. 
I hope Disney won't white wash this Chinese themed classic. 
And I wonder how are they going to make the live action version of The Little Mermaid, I mean how are they going to film human talking in the water. Well, let's just wait and see shall we.

Adult Friendship

I recently read an article about adult friendship and it sucks to know that adult friendship sucks.

There's a reason why I failed to understand why my high school friends no longer the way they were. They are working and I'm not; they are in a relationship and I'm not; they have commitments and I don't. And this is also the reason why they fail to understand mine.

It's just that I felt really disappointed by all the rejections recently, I asked them out to watch a movie, they were not free. I asked them to attend my dance concert, only one agreed to show up. I asked them to pay a visit to our mother school together, they have work.

Sometimes I refused to acknowledge that we are grown ups now, we have different priorities and things going on. However it still hurts so much when my so called friends are not there to support me. I have this upcoming ballroom dance performance, we've been practicing the dance like forever thanks to a slow learning couple. I guess my adult friends are not aware of how this performance is so important to me, and them being there to watch it will mean so much more.

I guess I'm just not that important anymore. All of them have moved on, except for me. I'm still clinging like a hard glue to our past friendship. They have their own circle of friends, they have new co-workers, they have things that I don't have.

You know, sometimes, I envy my brother so much, he and his friends hang out all the time. 1 phone call or 1 whatsapp message and poof, off they go to their usual yamcha spot. Why can't we be like them? Probably guys are much more different, I don't know.

Here I am again, depressed and lonely.        

Friday, March 24, 2017

Dance to the core of my soul

Since young, I have always wanted to learn ballroom dancing. My eyes would be brimming with envy when I saw other school mates perform on certain events. So finally, I picked up ballroom dancing lesson last year.

From the first moment I started to move my feet, I felt like my dancing soul had been awaken once again after hibernating for so long. The last time I remembered dancing was on our secondary school prefect night. 

I first learned waltz, a dance which requires gracefulness and a sense of direction, I had trouble grasping the direction at first, but after a bit of practice,  I got hold of it.

Then, I was taught Cha cha, a more lively vibrant dance. I'd watch so many cha cha live performance since young, so this dance kinda evokes so many memories and feelings. Dancing the move feels like, yeah, finally I get to be in their shoes, literally!

The third dance, which I'm currently learning, is Rhumba, it's like a slower version of chacha, but requires more hip movement. Let's get this rusty hips movin babeh! 

I once had a guy partner for a short while, however he had to go back to Sandakan for his culinary internship. So I was a bit depressed when he left. Dancing with partner is much more fun. So guess who become my partner? The teacher herself! Ain't that even better?! An expert be your partner! Thank God so much for this wonderful blessing!

Our teacher, Patricia, is the most amazing person I have ever met. She has been learning ballroom dancing since young. Now a young adult, she's a ballroom dance pundit and became one of the teachers! She's friendly, she's very thoughtful, she's just awesome in every way, in fact I think she teaches better than the other older teacher!

 I adore her so much. She said I'm the fastest learner among other students. Well, what can I say, I'm the youngest adult in my class. I'm competing against a grandma and a pair of husband and wife. That would be a shame if I can't keep up with a grandma right? Other than being the youngest, I also have music background, at least I understand the rhythm of the music, I know how to differentiate between a 3/4 and a 4/4 beat dance and when to start movin those feet. 

However, there are certain truth about me being a fast learner. You see, when you're doing something you really like, you'll learn it in a jiffy with so much less effort. I think that I'm totally in my Element. I'll tell you more about The Element in the next post. It's actually a book on how famous people discover their talent or what they like to do, and when they do, they are in their Element, the book also tells how they use their Element to make their way to success. So wait for my next post!

Talking about other dancing students, sometimes, I wish they won't show up. I know I'm bad, I shouldn't have said that. Cause sometimes, they can be a bit too slow. There are certain lessons I learned nothing new at all because the teacher needs to slow down and repeat the whole thing for them. And there's this guy who missed a lot of lessons because he's a busy busy business man, so we all had to wait for him before we can move on to the next step. It has been 5 months since I learned, and only 3 dances were taught. I really think I could have learnt 2 more dances. 

One thing about picking up a new skill they don't know about is it needs practicing. Just like my music teacher last time, she made sure I practice at least an hour a day so that when I attend her lesson, she wouldn't have to listen to my bad playing. And these students obviously didn't practice. They learn 1 hour, go home, forgot everything, attend the class next week, teacher has to repeat all over again. That's why it can be a wee be frustrated for me. Right now, we are preparing for our ballroom academy anniversary performance. So I really hope the others will attend every lesson, or at least practice at home themselves .

I practice at home at least twice a week, and I wanna thank God that my house is big enough for me to practice those moves. What to do, this is a group dance lesson, so you have to dance in a group loh. I had inquired other studios before, 1 on 1 teaching can go up RM70 per lesson. Yes, you didn't hear me wrong, that would be RM280 per month.   

Curious thing about time, it passes by like a bolt of lightning when you're having a good time. 1 hour is like 10 minutes to me. Having said that, my feet have to rest after an hour, they got very sore after those strenuous spinning and tip-toeing. So yeah, 1 hour may not be enough for the soul, but definitely the feet. Every time the class dismissed, I got a little sad. As soon as I reached home, I was already looking forward to next Saturday afternoon. And whenever I couldn't make it on Saturday because of other functions, I got distressed as well. Can you see how much I have fallen in love with ballroom dancing? From the first day until now, I enjoyed every minute of it. It's the best exercise ever!
Tomorrow is Saturday and I'm happy, because Saturday is ballroom dancing day! 

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Lazada Biggest Deal Ever!

Hey guys! I just wanted to tell you how awesome is Lazada, South East Asia biggest online store,

Lazada is celebrating its 5th birthday! And they are having the biggest sale ever!

Its theme: 5th Birthday Surprise is ON from 22nd - 24th March ONLY.

There's live flash sale going on right now!
Everything from beauty products to house appliances!

The flash sale will change every 2 hours, so be on the constant lookout.
What are you waiting for?
Go ahead and grab anything you like while it last. I mean it. Now!

Click to start shopping!

or you may click on the advertisement as well =)

Why do I love LAZADA Malaysia?

It's fast and easy, you can get it at anything you like literally at the tip of your finger!
It has everything that I need!
Simple as that. 

Which 3 products you like from LAZADA Malaysia?

1.  Tefal emotion Stainless Steel bundle set with FREE spatula

2.  Sk II Trial Set 8

3.  SoKaNo Trendz SKN811 6 Pcs Nylon Back Premium Set

How do I think LAZADA Malaysia can improve?

Extend the time limit of product cancellation. Sometimes we only realized our mistakes after a day we bought it.

My birthday wish to LAZADA Malaysia.
Happy Birthday once again LAZADA, may you always be the largest e-commerce platform for shoppers in Malaysia. Lazy shoppers like us can't survive without you!
Happy Shopping everyone!

Monday, March 20, 2017

My way to more wonderful life

We are entering the 3rd month of the year now, there are a few happenings, let me give you a quick update.

I've started on my driving lessons. Auto is so much more easy than manual car. Enough said.
I was really scared at first, but then I conquered my fear of handling huge heavy machine and yeah, I drove all the way around Donggongon and Putatan area. 
I'm so proud of myself!

The other day, I met the President of SWEPA, president Wynnie, (it's pronounced just like my name) at a book launching event, she is a very nice lady. She invited me to a talk held by the organization.
If you never heard of SWEPA, it is Sabah Women Entrepreneur and Professionals Association, an organization to help women in Sabah, quite self explanatory isn't it?

So I attended this talk at Wisma Wanita last week. 

The talk was delivered by Dr. Oh Ei Sun, a former political secretary at Malaysia prime minister Office on the topic "Belt and Road Initiative". 
Hearing the title of this guy had already given me goosebumps, not to mention meeting him in person. I don't know why, but he reminded me of Mr. Bean. =)

The topic was mainly about the relationship between China and Sabah both in business and culture. 
I gotta say, I felt dumb and brilliant at the same time after hearing the talk. 
I felt dumb cause I don't quite understand this unfamiliar topic. 
I felt brilliant cause I've learnt so much insightful never-heard-before information in 2 hours.
Isn't that amazing?

And the most important part was, these wonderful women were able to give their own opinion on the issues discussed. Lesson of the day: Never underestimate the intelligence of women. They might surprised you with their wide and in-dept knowledge and English vocabulary. 
Man I felt even dumber now. It's time to read something out of my comfort zone.

Oh, haven't I tell you guys, I picked up ballroom dancing and I have completely fallen in love with it.
I'll tell you more in details in my next post =)

That's all for now.

Friday, February 17, 2017

A relfection - Belief

I had an epiphany after talking to my psychologist. There are a lot of things you've been taught all these while may not be the entire truth. 

Take Christianity for example, I stopped going to church for a few reasons. 
Since young I've been attending church services faithfully.
Then in my youth, I was an active member trying my very best to organize events to bring the youth together. 

All these years in the church, I was taught to fear God. In the Old Testament, God was depicted as a fearful unforgiving God. He would send punishments in the form of plagues and famine to His people, and that made me scared of him. So when I addressed this problem to my church member, they told me to skip the Old Testament and focus on the New Testament. They say I must read the bible everyday to keep connected to God. 

I was told that don't wait until you're about to face death then you start to believe. One of the more extreme church I've attended before kept on emphasizing about the coming of Jesus Christ and heaven. They don't use pianos and guitars, because in heaven there are no these type of instruments. Whereas people who don't believe in Jesus will be cast to hell. So everyday I would pray and pray that my love ones would start going to church. 

In my whole life, I was taught to fear this invisible being which I do not exactly sure if he really exists. I was taught that I must pray everyday, and it cannot be just 5 minute long, it must be at least half an hour, because God gave us so much, or else I'm not committed enough. I was told that I need to attend every cell group meeting, 3 times a week, even though I don't feel like it, cause what we discuss in the meeting are practically the same as the Sunday sermon. At times, because of my duty in church, I felt like I'm obligated to attend church instead of attending it on my own will. 

I tried going back to church, it no longer felt the same, sermons annoyed me. There's a constant debate in my mind about the whole bible. 

Come to think of it, there's no concrete evidence that the bible is the truth. In fact it was not written by God himself, it was written by humans. Human's own interpretation. Not to mention all the christian books and daily breads out there, they are all human's own interpretation. The more I read these, the more I felt stressed as I felt the need to follow every thing they said. 

I find that christians are as rigid as uncooked spaghetti. Take LGBT issue for example. 
When I asked a christian counselor about it, she was not keen on discussing about this topic but told me to just read the bible. I asked another church member whether homosexual is nature or nurture, she strongly denied it was nature. Do you know why do Christians refused to accept that gays are nature? It is because by accepting that, they are agreeing that God made them that way, which of course contradicts the bible teachings. 

All of these teachings and sermons had created an insecurity inside me, that's why I'm worried all the time. Sadly to say that I think I got anxiety because of Christianity. I was constantly worried that I will offend this mighty God and got punished. That's why at some point I thought that my illness is a punishment from Him. Everyday I will ask for forgiveness even though I didn't make any mistakes, because that's what I was taught, we need to be humble by seeking forgiveness everyday. I am worried that if I don't pray everyday, my love ones won't be protected and might face danger. 

These people are living in fear, because they are living in the future! Everyday they are waiting and preparing themselves for the second coming of Christ and forgot to live in the present. How can you be happy if you're constantly worrying about the unknown?!

Here's a chinese saying which I find so relatable and I think you should ponder about it too.

If you are depressed, you are living in the past. 

If you are anxious, you are living in the future. 
If you are at peace you are living in the present. 

And do you realize that the word "present" has a second meaning?

Yesterday is a History.

Tomorrow is a Mystery. 
Today is a Gift.
That's why it's called Present.

This is my blog's quote, I just realized that the answer to happiness has always been right in front of my eye! 

My therapist  recommended a simple technique called Mindfulness. It's a kind of meditation which teaches us to be at the moment, to be aware of our body and surrounding. Our brain is too busy thinking of the past and the future, it needed some rest. You can download this app called Headspace, it really helped me to relax and embrace the present. 

I tried to ditch God a lot of time, but I couldn't, His existence had been deeply ingrained in me. Hence I still believe in Him, I still pray, but I won't read the bible or attend church anymore. 

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Playing With Anxiety

Everyone has anxiety as our lives now are getting more and more complicated than before.
Relationships, career, family, financial problems, illness etc.
It's natural and perfectly normal to worry, however, some of us worry so much up to an extent that it affect our daily routines, it's called anxiety disorder.

People with anxiety disorder like me, tend to worry practically everything from little things such as a bug to upcoming big events, all the time, anywhere! When our worries become too overwhelming, we start to get panic, our palms will sweat excessively, our hearts beat faster and louder, our whole body feel uncomfortable, we feel nauseous and some of us eventually puke.

That's how anxiety disorder feels like.

I remember going for a job interview last year, on the way to the office, my worries started to amplified as we get closer to the destination. I had all the symptoms mentioned above, the next minute I knew, I was screaming and crying out loud like a newborn in the car. It felt like going to kindergarten on the first day all over again. I told mum I couldn't make it, it was too scary, I wouldn't be able to face the scary interviewer. Let's quickly make a U-turn and go home. 

Just like usual, mum would try to coax me, told me to calm down and everything was not as scary as I thought. In the end, after regaining my composure, I braved myself and walked into that office alone. Thank God that Running Man was on the tv while I was waiting for my turn at the lounge area, the laughter made me forgot about the anxiety for a while.

Long story short, I got the job and the interviewer was not scary at all. However I found out that the job didn't suit me. In conclusion, all of these are just stories in my head. Thanks brain for the wild imagination. 

Here's a book I recently read about anxiety. It gave me a whole new insight about this condition I think all of you should read it too. It teaches us how to manage our anxiety when it strikes. 

It's available in Suria library, or you can go to this website and download its free ebook. 

Happy Reading and Happy Valentines Day!

Monday, February 13, 2017

Thanks for the Support

Few days ago, I stumbled upon a Facebook page called Minda. It's a Malaysian organization which helps to raise awareness about mental health. Inside that page, many people are stepping out to share their mental illness stories. I was truly inspired by these people and at that instant, I decided that I wanna be one of them.

I was extremely scared at first, looking at a blank yellow paper (I ran out of white), still doubting if this is a bad decision. Anyhow, the next minute I know, I started designing my words. 

So here is the picture I posted on my Facebook. It took me great courage and a lot of doubts to do this. My heart was pounding out loud and fast when I clicked that post button.
 I've got to say, I'm so proud of myself. 

Little did I know that this post had inspired many other of my Facebook friends, even acquaintance. Likes and loves came swarming in like bees for the past few days. Teachers, relatives, friends and even strangers gave me words of encouragement for my bravery. 214 likes and 19 comments!
I have never received so many likes before in my entire life!

 I wanna thank all of you who have shown your support, I definitely feel the love. 
So here's a bone crushing hug for you all.

People like me who are currently struggling and fighting alone out there, please don't be afraid to show who you are. I was afraid once. Afraid of  being viewed differently, afraid of being called crazy and afraid of getting rejected by the society. However, this post just showed otherwise. I received tremendous supports from people who knew me. Not even 1 negative remarks were given.

Hence I urge you to stand up, speak up about it and receive help and sometimes blessings too.

Click Here to see my story featured in Minda's official Facebook page.

You're still not too late to join the bravery squad. Yes, that's what I called these wonderful people like me for their extraordinary courage. Trust me, it wasn't easy for us to make that decision to let the whole world know about our illness. 

You don't have to have mental illness to support this cause. Just go to Minda official page, post a photo of yourself with some encouraging words, then #ImNotAshamed and #TeamNotAshamedMY. Then tag Minda and Relate Malaysia. That's all.

If you are too shy to do so, what you can do is to educate yourself more about mental health issues.
So I hope you can be part of the cause to raise awareness about mental illness.

Have a great day =)

Friday, February 10, 2017

The underlying danger of online shopping

Online shopping has existed long time ago, however I only started to experience the joy of buying (clicking)  stuff online this year. Earlier this year I told my mum I didn't want any birthday presents, I just wanna have a celebratory meal with my family. So she suggested to give me some money and buy anything that I like since she doesn't know what I like. 

So that's how I started online shopping.
My first item was a tripod stand, however I made a mistake, it was too short, and Lazada wouldn't let me cancel my shipment, hence I got this 1 meter plus tripod stand. Barely high enough to take any family photos. My second item is on it's way now.

The mode of shopping has been shifting from the traditional store to online store. With so many tough competitions out there, businessman are selling their product through an online platform, which offers a more cheaper version of the product sold out there as there are no overhead cost. That's why more and more people opt for online shopping instead. Online shopping has become a trend. If you're a businessman and haven't adapt to this mode, you'll might fall very far behind others who had done so. 

So what's interesting about online shopping? It's literally at the tip of your finger.
See what you like, click and voila! You bought that stuff. 
So what's so dangerous about it?

It's easy. Way too easy.

You can keep on clicking and clicking and clicking the whole day. 
There's no end to it, you can browse for goods whole day wherever you are, even in the loo! 
Unlike shopping malls, you can leave after finding the stuffs you want or having sore legs after shopping too much. By the way did you know that there is no clock inside the shopping mall?
That's because it's part of their strategy of not wanting you to realize that you have to leave already. 

There are pros and cons of online shopping, let's see the pros.

1. It's simple and hassle free, just click and wait your parcels to arrive right in front of your doorstep.

2. You can compare up to thousands of the same category products and read their reviews or ratings to help in making decision. 

3. You feel like receiving a present from yourself when your post arrive, and that's quite fun!

Here comes the cons.

1. There is no limit to it, if you're not careful enough with your financial planning, you'll might end up in debts. This is the most dangerous part, you definitely don't wanna fall into this trap.

2. Some of the products may not be what you have seen online. There are so many funny stories of how these online buyers found their products were far from expected, especially clothing. The material, the colour and the size matters! My cousin is also one of the victim.
That's why I will never buy clothes online, plus I'm not a typical lean size lady.

3. You need to pay for shipping fee and wait for your products, some may take a while if it's shipped from overseas. Some of it got damaged during the shipping, and here comes the problem, they are many procedures, refund and all that. Sometimes you are required to pay the refund shipping fee as well. 

So that's it for now, I hope all the buyers out there be rational while online shopping, buy only what you need. There's no wrong to reward yourself occasionally with stuffs you really like especially after working really hard on something. Just bear in mind that, unless you are loaded as Jack Ma, don't buy excessively. 

Happy shopping!